pullsneedles | New Pork City

New Pork City

With a great KSSSSSSSSH! the limo lands at the entrance of Master Porky's neon haven, New Pork City. The streets are lined with lively distractions and familiar faces, the people of Tazmily bustling about at the cinema or the arcade.

Boney nudges his owner's hand with his nose, giving him a comforting lick. Kumatora puts a hand near her eyes, scanning the area. Duster fiddles with a wall staple, itching to move but wanting to stay still.

Lucas soaks it all in, frowning faintly.

Where to?

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Evil mode, huh?

Autor draws in the mood around him and frowns. Moving carefully, to give Lucas plenty of warning, Autor reaches out to briefly squeeze the other boy's shoulder.

Lucas absently pats Autor's hand, appreciative even if it's not quite enough. Duster limps to the vanity and retrieves a lipstick and razor, what would have been Locria's memento if things were different. Kumatora suddenly upturns a crate of bananas.

Why does it all keep piling on? When will it finally be enough?

"Code," Enzo mutters, nudging a banana away with his foot.

Duster hands Kumatora the razor and lipstick.

"Feel any better?" he asks.

"No," she mopes. "Should've punched Fassad's stupid face harder."

"It'll be his loss and our gain if we can keep going."

They have nothing left to do with Locria's possessions and leave the shell one by one.

The elevator takes them up once again, the commotion of a party awaiting them when they stop. The doors open to a play room, the game on the floor appearing to be some version of whack-a-mole. A small, chubby, blond boy of a robot waits by the side, a red light flashing on his head.

"Ah, Master Lucas has arrived at last," the chauffeur from the flying limo greets at the door. "And I will be your host in these games to determine if you are a fit playmate for Master Porky."

With a gesture to the others, he adds, "Would anyone else like to play?"

Games, eh? Like there's even a question. This is his job. Enzo steps forward.

"'Fit playmates', huh?" Autor mutters, and stands beside Enzo.

"Very well! Three opponents to test their worth against Master Mini-Porky!"

The Porkybot approaches and takes up a mallet, set to play the whack-a-mole game. It ambles rather slow, eventually thunking mole after mole for a grand total of-

"10 moles for Master Mini-Porky," the host tallies. "Master Lucas, you're next. Do bear in mind that Master Porky absolutely adores the word 'win.' And if the words 'indulge' and 'humor' mean anything to you, you'll know what to do."

"Huh?" Lucas goes as he picks up the mallet. But he turns back to see Kumatora mouth something and makes an understanding, "Oh!"

"But," the host continues, "If you try to throw the match, Master Porky will be very displeased indeed. Understand?"

Lucas nods again.

"And mind the old guy in the hat. If you hit him, you'll get zapped. Begin!"

The whack-a-mole game starts again and Lucas very quickly taps mole after mole, counting under his breath with each one. After hitting the ninth one, he stands in the middle and waits for the host to call time.

"Wow! What an incredibly close match! Nine moles!"

The host then gestures to Enzo and says, "You are next, sir."

Enzo, as he picks up the mallet, raises his eyebrows at Lucas and Kumatora and mouths, Nine?

Lucas hands the mallet over. Both he and Kumatora mouth, Nine.

Deliberately trying not to win a game goes very much against the grain, but... nine it is. He whacks the first nine moles flawlessly, and runs out the clock tossing the mallet from hand to hand.

"Another stunningly close total of nine moles!" the host cheers. Then, with a point to Autor, "Now how will you fare, sir?"

Autor fares terribly at first, but picks up a rhythm quickly enough to soundly and satisfyingly whack! nine moles.

"I've seen some strange things," he murmurs, holding the mallet out. "But I certainly wasn't expecting this."

The host takes the mallet from him.

"Another score of nine. Master Mini-Porky wins this intense match by a razor thin margin of one mole! What a wonderful match! Truly heart-stopping!"

The host places the mallet in a corner of the room and leads the way to the next challenge, the Porkybot following behind.

In the next room, the group finds four purple bridges suspended over a pool of hippolauncher-free water.

"Next is the Purple Bridge Race Game!" the hosts announces. "The first from one side to the other wins! And if you know the words 'indulge' and 'divulge,' the former will be of more use to you."

The Porkybot waits on his mark on the first bridge and Lucas takes his place on the second.

Autor takes the third, testing his footing. "What do you think, Enzo?" he whispers, with a wry tone but a perfectly straight face. "Last one was easy, this one appears marginally more difficult, so the next will be horrendous, right?"

"That'd be my guess," Enzo replies, similarly deadpan.

The thrilling race begins, Master Mini-Porky advancing step by slow step!

It's a nice leisurely stroll for the not-Porkybot contestants. At least no one has to worry about falling in at this pace.

Lucas keeps just one step behind, doing his best not to take the lead as they approach the finish line.

"We might have a photo finish for second place at this rate!" the host shouts. "But another exciting victory for Master Mini-Porky!"

That's it? Autor thinks, shaking his head. He shuffles along the bridge, watching his fellow contestants to ensure that he crosses the finish line at the same time as they do.

Enzo sighs deeply several times, muttering about easy mode, and eventually turns around and finishes his crossing backward.

"Now then! Let us move on to the third and final game!"

Everyone is ushered into the next room. A line of bicycle pumps sits inside, each one with a different colored balloon at the end.

"The final game is 'To Whom Goes the Boom?' Use your air pump to quickly inflate your balloon until...BOOM! The first to pop his balloon wins. I'm tripling the points for this final game, so our three tied for second place have a very good chance of coming from behind to win it all! Please try your best!"

Autor reins in a sigh and grips the handles of the pump. Following the Porkybot's lead, he fills his balloon at a pace so sedate that he's yawning--until the bot's pops first.

Autor jumps and slams the handle down, popping his balloon. Blinking, he looks to his friends. "These have all been really easy."

That might not be the sort of comment Master Mini-Porky would like to hear. Fortunately, the pop of Lucas's balloon covers it up.

Enzo, following suit, scowls. "More like a different kind of hard."

Seriously. Winning would have been easier than holding back this much.

Autor grins at him. "Fair enough," he says, and then turns to the Porkybot for their next set of instructions.

The host applauds Master Mini-Porky's stunning last victory.

"I hereby deem all of you fit to meet Master Porky."

He opens the door to the next room, revealing a waterway and a boat. Lining the sides of the channel are a collection of objects, presumably Porky's. A group of phones, an ancient ATM, a couple of buses, a helicopter, a yellow submarine, a chrome device in the shape of a Mr. Saturn, a mech in the shape of a spider, and, for some reason, a pair of sesame seeds.

"Anyone else getting a weird, wrong vibe about this room?" Kumatora asks.

"Hate to say it," Dinah says helpfully from the back, "but I've been getting a weird, wrong vibe for a while, now."

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