pullsneedles | New Pork City

Autor cranes his neck as he stares in awe at the building--these look so much smaller in books!--but follows everyone else as soon as they enter.

"Where are the stairs?" he asks. "And how many floors are we climbing, again?"

"There's gotta be an elevator, right?"

He's in great shape, but an entire skyscraper's worth of stairs? No thank you.

"Please say there is an elevator."

Dinah stands in the middle of the foyer, circling slowly to look for one.

"I am not a rooftop hero. If you wanted Batman I could have set you up with him."

Boney barks for their attention at the left-back corner of the lobby, pointing out the elevator room.

"Good job, Boney," Lucas praises, scratching him behind the ears as they move on.

But as Duster walks by to get on the elevator, some whispers start floating among the people in the building.

Autor wants to tell Dinah that he'd love to meet this Batman he has heard all about--what kind of vigilante dresses up as an airborne mammal? Honestly!--but stifles the urge. Now is not the time.

No, now is the time to bite down on his rising panic due to the idea of rocketing through a chute in a metal box suspended by a flimsy cord.

"How many floors, again?" the boy croaks, missing the whispers entirely.

Edited 2013-10-27 18:57 (UTC)

"Maybe a hundred, maybe more," Kumatora says before clapping a hand on Autor's shoulder. "It'll be all right. You think this King Porky would have a busted elevator in the building he uses most?"

"Yes, of course," Autor sniffs primly, raising a brow at her hand. "Just to spite us."

Glaring at the speaker producing tinny music, the boy presses his back against the corner near the door. Then he jams a button in the triple digits with his thumb. "Like this, right?"

"I'm just assuming this is less risky than using the elevator in Milliways."

Every trip in that thing is a risk. Who knows where you'll end up?

With everyone on, the elevator lurches up. It slows long before even coming close to the 100th floor, stopping at the 24th. The doors open to a group of people milling about around a band.

But then someone turns around and-

"LUCKY!"

"Lucky's back!"

"Tonda gossa, Lucky!"

The crowd storms towards the elevator with screams of joy, throwing in flowers, panties, Duster's afro wig, and an upright bass. Pushing through the wild fans are none other than DCMC.

"Tonda gossa!" Duster's bandmates gleefully call.

"Tonda gossa!" Duster, Kumatora, and Lucas return.

Guess who just had a rather scandalous pair of pink bloomers land on his hair? The flushing boy shrieks and bats them off, only to get himself lei'd.

After slamming a button at random, Autor shrinks against the wall, bracing himself for the remainder of the Elevator Ride From Hell.

"That was more fun than the rest of this."

"It's a DCMC concert," Duster says, tuning the bass. "We always know how to have a good time."

"....did you put your afro on?" Kumatora asks.

The be-afroed Lucky shrugs a shoulder and slaps the bass. But just as he's really starting to jam, an announcement comes over the system.

"Attention, all goody two-shoes inside the Empire Porky Building. The final game has begun. Please gather up what puny wisdom and pathetic courage you have and come to the 100th floor. However, there's no guarantee the elevator will work how you want it to!"

And after a strange, rusty laugh:

"I'll be waiting for you on the 100th floor."

Enzo's mouth sets and his hand goes to his hilt. Fun's over.

"You want games, huh?"

Autor blinks at the upright bass--grudgingly impressed with Duster's playing--and then nearly pulls a muscle in his neck when Porky's voice emanates between the speaker.

"So spiteful," he murmurs, "and annoying."

He pushes the 100th floor button, even more irritated now that the flimsy control he'd had over the buttons was revealed to be fake anyway. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you our next floor."

Dinah is leaning casually on the back wall of the elevator, watching the proceedings with no small amusement.

"Okay, good," she says as they approach the 100th floor. "Jusr when I was getting my voice back."

"That was some singing," Enzo notes. "You and my girlfriend should do a duet."

The elevator doors open here, still far below the 100th floor. The room inside reveals hippos frolicking in water.

Hippos with rocket launchers built in their behinds.

"Who's the closest to the Close Doors button?" Kumatora asks.

Autor answers by pressing it, and then has to drag his foot back into the elevator as the doors close and jerk open.

He stares at the wall as they travel. Eventually, he turns around to face the group, pointing at the door. "You all saw what I think I just saw, right?"

"Pretty sure, yeah."

After this, the elevator stops and won't travel any higher.

"Is this the 100th floor already?" Lucas asks.

When the doors open, they're met with a hallway full of bathrooms.

"I guess Porky thought we needed a break," Duster goes.

Autor prods the buttons, pursing his lips. "The elevator doesn't appear to work," he says, wandering out. "So I guess we check these?"

Behind one of the blue doors, there is a toilet. Autor blinks. "I don't know what I was expecting."

"Is it a trap?"

'Cause if not, taking advantage of it might not be a bad idea.

Dinah closes the door she'd just opened and looks over her shoulder at Enzo.

"Really?"

Autor opens another door, and then another, before checking the end of the hallway... which is another door.

"Yeah, yeah, I know, but it might not be. Everyone needs bathrooms."

Probably too much to ask around here, though.

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